Hmm, well I went to dinner with Karen a few days ago. I was supposed to go with her and Michael but he canceled on us. Ate at California Pizza Kitchen, and it was good, although I didn't finish so I ate the rest for lunch.

Then I saw The Villiage the next day w/Alison, Ann, Natalie and Sadie. Pretty good movie, although the better highlight was that they bought me The Beatle's 1 CD (w/their #1s). Great CD. I wish I had more cash to buy the rest.

Said a sad farewell to the friends. Pretty pathetic, really. *sigh*

Yesterday my dad came home to pack the rest of our stuff, so the whole basement minus the computer is in boxes. I didn't get to do the blogathon because he also hates me being on the net and questioned me about DMB for about 15 minutes and then said it was some kind of sham and a waste of time.

How is a sham?

I swear, life is NOT going to be any easier now that he's back in it. Especially because he's even more touchy than my mom, and I think living alone for a year has made him even more so. She's getting pretty mad as well, but what can we do. Now, going to go to Bubble Tea with Karen. Ta-ta. I may update this pathetic entry later.

We're going to pack up the computer tonight, and it won't reach New Orleans for 3-7 days, although we're getting there on Wednesday. Bahness. I've not been feeling too good about this, and we've been packing non-stop. In one day after my dad has come home I have cried 4 times and he has bought me a stereo. Huh. My mom also thought I had no more qualms about moving. I guess my 'apathy' face is getting better.

Anyway, I hope I can get back on the net soon, although I don't know when the DSL will be installed in New Orleans, either. Basically... I don't really know how to feel right now. And all my friends have left to go on vacation or haven't called. Eh. The only good thing is that I got to talk to Liesl last night for the first time forever. I can't believe she didn't get deleted off DMB yet...

Wish me luck guys. I guess I'll catch up with you all later.

Now that I'm here, I'm expecting someone to shake me and say, go back. Don't worry, you won't have to stay in this shit place forever. Because it really is.

I went to the school orientation today... and it was absolutely terrible. It was a school full of those Jaci and obnoxious 'smart' people... I hate those people. They're not exactly rich or well-cultured, and not slutty and don't drink a lot. But they use that extra energy to be hyper. At the age of 16. Of course, it was mostly freshmen, but... oh god, now I'm crying. No matter what, I resolve to start praying (...or something) to get back to Clayton next year because this place is totally shit.

They're making me take at least 3 classes with freshmen, and won't let me into the 'gifted' classes until up to two weeks after school starts, so I can say good-bye to making friends with non-idiots. Yay. And our DSL still isn't set up or anything. I'm in the library, cut off from all contact because no one is online and I'm stuck in some kind of surreal... whatever. My mind is still in St. Louis, and I can't really cope right now. This is possibly the worst thing that ever happened to me... although that may seem an exagerration, the difference in cultures just doesn't fit with my personality. I see a lot of frustration ahead of me.

Oh, and I cried.. a lot. Probably 30 times yesterday and today as of now about 20 times. My eyes are pretty puffy, but my parents don't know that I cried even once. They think it's because I haven't had enough sleep.

I'm not about to tell them. What can we do?

Wow. I can't believe I'm doing this. But boredom calls. Again.

Oh, and if you don't want to read this (who can blame you), scroll to the bottom for the actual entry.

Perfect Guy!?

1. Hair color: Dark.
2. Eye color: Doesn't matter.
3. Height: Taller than me.
4. Six pack: Who cares.
5. Long or short hair: Short.
6. Glasses: Depends.
7. Piercings: No.
8. Scars: It's inevitable.. usually...
9. Eyebrows : Who cares.
10. Big butt or little: Uh. No fatasses.
11. Chest hair: NO.
12. Buff or skinny: Skinny.
13. Straight teeth, gap, or braces: Straight teeth.
14. Funny or serious: Both.
15. Party or stay at home: Stay at home.
16. Should he cook or bake: ? Both?
17. Should he have a best friend: Yes..
18. Should he have a lotta girlfriends: No.
19. Outgoing or shy: Shy.
20. Sarcastic or sincere: Both.
21. Should he love his mother: Yes. Unless she is crazy.
22. Should he watch chick flicks: Yes.
23. Would he be a smoker: No.
24. Would he drink: Sure..
25. Would he swear: Ok.
26. Would he play with your hair: Why would he do that.
27. One or more girls at a time: NO!?
28. Would he pay for dates: At least 1/2
29. Does he kiss on the first date: No.
30. Where would you go to dinner: ...somewhere fancy.
31. Would he bring you flowers: That would be nice. But not necessary.
32. Would he lay under the stars with you: No. I hate that.
33. Would he write poetry about you: That would be nice, although.. I wouldn't care.
34. Would he call you hunny, sweetie, or baby: Uh. Sure.
35. Would he hang out with you and YOUR friends: Yes.
36. Would you hang out with him and HIS friends: Yes.
37. Will he walk you to the door at the end of the date: Yes.
38. Holding hands: Sure.
39. Soccer: I hate sports.
40. Baseball : I hate sports.
41. Basketball: I hate sports.
42. Football: I hate sports. Especially football.
43. Water polo: I hate sports.
44. Surf: I hate swimming.
45. Skateboard: I hate sports.
46. Snowboard: I hate sports
47. Sing: If he wants...
48. Play guitar: Sure.
49. Play piano: That would be nice.
50. Play drums: No.
51. Clean his room: Yes.
52. Paint, draw, sculpt: If he wants.
53. Writes his own music: Yes. But not likely.
54. Use the word dude: NO.
55. Use the word tight: NO.
56. Would he watch the sun rise with you: I would never be up that early.
57. What kind of car does he drive: One that works.
58. How old is he: Older. At least by 2 years.
59. What would his name be: What his name is.


Which brings me to my dilemma.

I'm thinking of changing my name. Because no one can pronounce my current one. And since I'm moving, it seems like the opportune time.

So here are the ones I'm debating.. for now. They might suck. Tell me so. And suggest any others.

Ivy, Gwenyth, Olivia, Autumn
and for Japanese names (because those are easy and my parents like them):
Ayumi, Yukino, Yumi

Help?

Today I went to take an IQ test for gifted classes. Except I only took the 1st half. Eugh. Basically, I may have to enter school in regular classes until they can process my information. The problem with that is
A) I don't want to
B) How am I supposed to make friends if I keep switching classes.
C) If they dont' do it quick enough I may have to wait until 2nd semester. Which will be bad for college.

Plus I have 4 books to read in 6 days. Yippers. Thanks for sending the book list, Ben F., at this time, when it's marked MAY in the letter. Eugh.

Our furniture finally arrived, but we're unpacking and probably wont' get the net back in our house until next week.

NEXT WEEK!

Honestly. I start school on Thursday.

But! I made it as a star member. *dabs eyes with hankie* That pretty much made my day. And I'm glad I asked my dad's coordinator to use her computer. Even if her explorer is outdated and I can't check my email.

So I narrowed my name choices to two:

Ivy and Juliet.

What do you think?

There is a new layout! The blend is made by Yining and well, it's Scarlett Johansson from the movie Lost in Translation. Woop.

I got my net back! And it's on a cable modem now, so I say hi to 1.36 mb/s speed. Hello there... you shexshay thing.

School starts in 4 days, and I'm going to finish the second part of my IQ test tomorrow. And my schedule STILL isn't worked out. Complications, as well as a new surrounding. I am so excited. No. Not really. At all.

But I have been downloading manga. Namely, all of Imadoki, which had a pretty 'eh' ending. The side story at the end was much better. Also got Photoshop 7 from uh.. hmm.. yeah.. >_> It works great, much much better than 5.0, which didn't even have the color>html or saving as easily and the simplicity in design and... I'll stop now.

By the way, does anyone know who won the volleyball game yesterday between China and the US?

Oh, and check out this very attractive diver. Mmm....

I start my first day tomorrow.

I'm still undecided as to whether I should change my name or not.

And now I'm filled with this nervousness, dread, terrible feelings, and apathy.

I think that if I had stayed in Clayton, I might actually be feeling a bit.. excited.. or maybe a good anitcipation of the upcoming events and everything.

But now.. I just feel like crying. And yes.. I cried a bit last night.

I don't even know. 24 hours from now I'll have faced the 1st part of what I've been dreading for 2 years. Moving here and starting school with counsellors that are rude and where the dress code includes tucking in your shirt, nothing above the knees, no flip-flops... yet no uniform.

And then having to switch 4 of my classes within the next two weeks. And being forced to take AP US History as my ONLY history AP in high school.

I hate this.

Who are you supposed to sit at lunch with on the first day, anyway?

The first two days of the new school.

I can't convince myself it's up to par with Clayton. Because really, it's just not. There are about 70% girls and 30% guys. These teachers are about five to ten times as rude as Clayton ones, and the dress code makes you wonder why they don't just make you wear uniforms.

Plus we run a mile every Friday.

I have to change my entire schedule next week to get into gifted classes. I hate it. Plus, this school is the reason why math/science in the US is so bad. You can take APs for English and History.. but most people don't take them for math/science... ever!

And this is the BEST school in Louisiana?

I made some 'friends', but they're really hard for me to remember the faces of , because I barely see a lot of them around. But at least I'm not alone at lunch. Until they show, up, anyway.

I AM alone in gym. And their orchestra.. has fundraisers and sell baked goods. I want to go on the cruise! Even if it's with Miller. And I probably won't get to b/c our spring break is 3 days.

Take my friends quiz and make me feel better.
Click and take or I'll still be depressed.

Eugh. I miss everyone. I just want to leave and go to college. Or go back to St. Louis. I can't fit in here, I really.. just can't. They're all either prissy or bitchy or oblivious. Wow. Sounds like Jaci/Alex/Courtney/Becca all together.

SO MUCH FUN!

*dies*

I've been really inactive from tabulas. Sorry for not commenting and all that.

The school here... is so....

Well the day before yesterday I left my id at home by accident and they sent me down to get a new one for $5. My dad thankfully arrived before they went insane.
They give detentions for not tucking in your shirt. No uniforms, by the way.
And they almost confiscated my cell phone until November because some wrong number called me in the middle of class and i forgot to turn it on silent. Eugh.

It seems as if I have to be careful who I talk to around certain people. I don't want to be pulling some new kid drama over here. You can almost see the weird tension in a school with no truly defined cliques.

It would be good for me to stop daydreaming and regretting. But right now I can't. I'm just getting more and more active on the net and oh well, it doens't really hurt. It's better than sinking into a lonely depressive mess. Which I don't want to waste my time with.

And now the only things to do are watch olympics which has the usa reigning supreme over the track and field and go online.

I wish I was somewhere else.

But here is a quick and shameless plug for my Harry/Hermione layout auction on DMB.

Bid and make me happy?

It's ironic. I don't talk to my old friends as much on the net. Here's something though.

They will miss me because my presence, which was always there, suddenly isn't, and it feels weird. But one day they will stop lookin g for me, and I'll still be closing my eyes and imagining I'm somewhere else.

Today I got into a large fight with my parents. They yelled at me for hours and said that it's too bad I had to move, they don't care, and I might as well take away the internet.

But then I checked my voicemail on my phone and realized that Brittany had called me yesterday when I was out. And it's strange, because I wonder how they do it. I hold on to the people that I would say now would never be important to me if I knew them in this school.

I wonder if my parents are right, anyway. But if I stop going on the internet the most important thing will be gone. It's not the fact that I have a life here as well. That's all nice and good, but in the end that's not what's dependable. Any time I feel like something good happens to me as far as the internet is concerned, something proves otherwise. And I'm not stupid, I know how things work. Hypocrisy isn't a one-way street, and the same tactics used for one person can be used for another.

And why do I have to get excited about anything anyway, just to find out that it wasn't even anything that had to do with me. That's just stupid. And I always feel like that. As my dad was screaming at me I realized just how messed up things seemed to be. I don't have to worry about the trivial stuff, but all the important things don't exist for me anymore. I don't have to worry about friends or insignificant school things. Really, I should just concentrate on my grades, because that is all that's left.